Only a quick update :)

Because I'm lazy, and i like it that way!

So bloggywogg, it's been a little while :)...okay a really quick long while. I won't lie to you, I'm a little ashamed. Just a little :D.

So, I only really have time to do a little posty.

Maybe I'll catch up soon, if I remember XD

So, writer's group usual!

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Sprig Jew Fabric

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Smeared lipstick over a curved cheek,

Dark, material circles over glittered lashes

covering dilated pupils and sparkling irises.

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The youth rejoice in shared age and financial status.

Young, rich and pretty.

These sprigs cavort in contant ecstacy,

energetic felicity that reeks of the untouchable.

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The fathers; slick, hard nails of buildings

immovable in their success and archaeic power.

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They live fast. Spend faster.

Squandering a lifetime in a single night.

Flushing away their happiness.

Leaving a hollowed shell, the headless structure of a bitter creature.

Tonic, Supertonic, Mediant, Subdominant, Dominant, Submediant, Leading Note and TONIC!

Writers update!!! :D
So today was sort of Past, Present, Future thang. I'll cut to the chase;
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Round and sacharine sweet.

It's grasped in my hand and I wander.

Wander through reds and yellows, oranges.

Strawberries, lemons and..oranges.

Rutic tones and earthy pleasures.

Rich delight in the fading, smiling sun.

I run a little, snap branches, get my coat caught. Snagging on little eager limbs and there's laughter.

Pea-shooters,

Grandad,

Grandma,

and Laughter.

In Hokey Pokey Lane.

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It's dark.

Darkness and silence, silence and...music.

Natural music created by the warmest, homliest of mothers.

We dance and it's endless.

The raindrops chime ad chatter, splash on the floor- cobbles, paving.

Grey and black and twinkling white lights.

The Monochrome Waltz.

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Tap tap tap tap

the clock

my pen

some feet

a chair,

I can't believe I'm sitting here.

_

Tap tap tap tap

white sheet

blank mind

this test

a grind,

I can't believe I cannot find

the answer.

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Dear Diary,

Things are so quiet that I can hear myself think. It's not pretty, being left to my own mind. Quite often I find it easier to fill my ears with buzzing.

That dull roar of Insect Swarms and Thought Dragons.

They circle in my head, the cacophony is resounding.

It's dark too.

Not so dark I can't see myself, the lights still work of course but.

In the metaphorical sense,

an abstract noun, it's dark.

Bleak.

As though all the lights in the world are pointing to the stark whit trtuh that we cannot cope without that other life.

The fake life, artificial sources.

Life as we know it has had a temporary abortion.

_

Tree Xx

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There you have it! Doesn't make too much sense but there you are. :D I'll tell you this.

One is the Millenium Bug. Two are Weather. And the other is Tests.

Easy!!! :P

That's so Tesco...Yah Kinda...I really like it...

Just a Writers update for ya'll as I have uber amounts of textiles and rubbish to catch up on. Eat up journally-poo :D.
So! Moving onto what we did which was to first write a HAIKU on a picture (which after a vigorous google image search I CANNOT FIND!) which is a shame. We weren't told what the piture was about, so all I knew was that is was a beautiful blond man leaning over a, sort of, marble -plinth?- with a purply red surrounding and possibly roses in the corner. SO I wrote (and failed...);
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Angels fallen grace

moon illuminated face

water falls, pure peace.

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My reflection bright

No more love, passion, to fight

Rose petal drops light.

~

Then we found out -although I already figured it out- that this man was Narcissus and then had to write futher based upon this ideal. I did another haiku...and then gave up XD.

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Woven gold light and

pale face, beautiful capture

Who is this creature fair?

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(remixed for the better :D)

You capture me, oh creature fair!

All ivory skin and gold-spun hair,

Your clear, pool eyes

And full lush lips

A fallen Angel

Before me sits.

~

I take a breath, to draw you in

As you have drawn me with your grin

Those graceful limbs

They pull me forth

This pool's like ice

But I don't mind.

~

I'm pleased that I changed it in the end XD...then we read out a poem by some guy full of old-man horniness and 'we must value love and get it on before we *cough*I*cough* die!!11!!1!' ideals and metaphors blah blah... Then we were asked to write a response. So I said XD;

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The sun, our ball

So sweet and hot

Burns my fingers

Bitter heat.

Through you I fall

And forget me not,

for thy love lingers

In what you reap.

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Such passion strong.

Such ardored words.

So hard you long,

But listen close;

You collonise

Work fast like ants

Please keep thine vegetable,

in thine pants.

~

Mega lolz? :)

Yeah sure, whatever, so before I go, I'll leave with an update on LoveHate; it's still not finished, but so much better!

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He is power and dominence,

In the darkest parts of every mind.

Anger, misery and ignorence

Accomplices he will find.

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Sharp suits, slick hair and tightened tie,

He prowls and claims his prey.

Dark, hot rage and cold, sweet revenge,

two dogs, obedient, before him lay.

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They entwine their limbs

And the fine line shrinks

The membrane of chaos gives way

They meet, mingle

Clash and frission,

The heady mixture is claustrophobic.

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She gasps, he parts,

They swerve and grab,

Two forces, bound,

Turn dive and break.

The dance is endless.

~

She is foolhardy and controlling

Gripping the soul soft, cold fingers...

And...I haven't done anymore, typing it up makes me feel that it still needs revising further!...hmmm

Writer's Group and that veritable Smoorgasboard...

So, Writer's update! We were considoring personification this week and looked at Sylvia Plath's 'Mirror'. First I did a poem on...well, see if you can guess!
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If I were you I'd be ultimately smart.

With an astronomical memory.

every birthday I get better

Bigger

More...relevant?

I am like an inquisitors gift,

open me up

Find black and white delights fir the knowledge hungry.

~

That's all I got for that.

Guess...no?

DICTIONARY! :D So creative I am...

Then we did a little loosening up exercise and did word vomit on the page:

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Primordeal Soup:

Sweet chunks of potato and candy cane,

scrap that. Anyway, pink, white, grey; the rats rainbow.

See the spectrum of inky colours fan across that plastic sheet of fake paper.

Paper, pier, bagels and cream cheese dipped in honey and smoothered in the caramalised homeless.

Tartan, thick warm and scratchy.

~

Word Vomit indeed! XD I really don't understand, but it does...kinda...fit together...right?

Anways, next we all had to work on a personification of a pen;

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Mightier than the sword

That's what they call me. It's my title if you must know.

I am elementary, age-old and yet fresh, young. Remixed, new and hip.

Old-school dip.

Slick and...

Think.

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If I am so powerful

Think

What would you use me for?

Good?

Bad?

If every letter I spell, each loop, swirl and line I deposit has the power to kill.

What would you use me for?

~

Finally we were supposed to write something personifying an emotion. I chose to do two and compare them, chosing of course---LOVE AND HATE! :D

My original is not all that good, I didn't even finish it, but I am going to rewrite it...maybe put it in the next post, so I'll finish this one on that note and come back to you with the new REMIX.

Oh! just incidently, school has become very...exciting?

Writers- Making an Anthology which will be published.

Art- Entering an exhibition competition down in LONDON!

English (based)- have taken the position as co-editor and fashion department in the brand new school newspaper, publishing begins January.

Textiles- Beginning new BIG project- ergo Nautical Playsuit.

Photography- Practising and gaining material for exhibition.

Jazz Band- Readying Soiree pieces (including 'Respect' Arethra Franklin)

Steel-Pan Drumming- Readying for Soiree also, pieces being 'Deck the Halls' and 'Silent Night'

Youth Enterprise- Readying plans for stall in Leicester, preparing goods.

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Hello! How can one small girl HANDLE all of that?! XD Anyway, rubbish poem then I promise that I'll go! :D

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It manifests and grows.

Spawning and festering in the darkest corners of every mind.

Sparked by spurn, jealousy, anger, misery.

Left to itself it takes over, possesion and power.

~

They entwine in places.

That fine line can become thinner.

A net movement?

The membrane of hysteria, chaos.

They meet and mingle and the heady mixture is claustraphobic.

The dance is endless.

...has not finished this...needs rewriting badly XD....

Flip flop, scuba bop, shake it baby don't stop.

BIKINI BOTTOM!

I'm a little confused, I'll admitt, well not confused as such...more...rattling.

My head rattles when I try to squeeze my thoughts into processable paste :/. Like an empty aerosol...oh me.

I don't think I'm cut out for it all. Like, there are protocols and behaviour policies, and don't do this or that because there's a chance that you're out! A game that you have to play for many years before you get the hang of it. Those who do well get paid a wealthy amount for being naturally talented. And those who aren't good enough are left standing up against that playground wall.

You know?

No?

Good.

Ambiguous is what we aim for, down at Tree headquarters :D.

-"Obviously you weren't loved enough as a child." He sneered.

Everyone was silent.

"That's not funny." She said, laying a protective hand on his hunched shoulders.

He raised an eyebrow "really? I thought so."

"Just," he made a violent move forawards and he jump backwards, out of reach.

"Oh honestly, just calm down. Did you ever think that it could be a good thing?" He asked impatiently.

He scowled "How could it eve-"

"THINK." He interrupted loudly, "It gives you an excuse."

"For what?" she enquired.

"Why, for your Social Redundancy." -

Can't remember the rest T__T. DAMN SOLITAIRE!

Good one Tree!

SO!

Um...not really much to update on actually (chase-wise) other than the new twist to my textiles themes. Now we're starting a new project (scarf still uncompleted XD), and I'm -hoping to!- do a playsuit based on....

NAUTICAL!

One of my favourite themes :3....I love my nautical socks!

Anyway, yeah, I've been looking like crazy for nautical clothing for Mood Boards and comparative shops and all that jazz and I find that it's SO HARD to find anything! It's riddiculous...but there you have it :D.

Where's his armies? Up his sleevies!

I haven't got much to say, just killing time here :D.

Have recently rediscovered my amorous love for Maroon 5 with their Spider-Man soundtrack song 'Woman'. Also found new love for Electrocute with their groovilicious song 'Bikini Bottom' which -naturally- is part of the Spongebob Squarepants Movie soundtrack.

Good times.

So, textiles is still hectic but fun as. Practical is supposed to be finished next Friday approx. 8:45 AM . It is currently 02:12 AM Sunday. I have no scarf, only many decorative 'things'.

It looks promising Captain.

However, I made two of the cute white rabbits alive! They're so adorable that I've decided to name them both; Chase and Wally...

I'm going to try and scan them!

Is that healthy for baby rabbits? :D

There's my lost little rah-bbit with his little golden buttons :3.

Not much in the way of White Rabbit and more Peter Rabbit. But then Peter's always been the better bunny.

Bought a new game today, it's mediochre to rubbish really. Nothing in comparison to the Final Fantasy giants anyways. Also had a recent revival of Jade Coccoon 2 madness, despite the fact that the dialogue is diabolical and the game play is incredibly sameish.

Can't you just taste christmas right now?

It's suddenly everywhere and that's great! Especially the new M&S advert, because it makes you feel so warm and fuzzy and 'let's open the presents now!' ish. Next Saturday is Winter shopping in the city day. Ham so excited(ish)! We'll be getting a new Christmas Tree soon.

SOON!

What I really want though is a new pair of socks from Accessorize, bring on the stocking! :D

Incidently, I saw a model in Vogue (Sept/Nov? I forget...) who has exactly the same pair of socks as me (Accessorize)! I actually screamed. First time I've ever seen anything of mine advertised in Vogue before! I think...

It's so cool. I will most likely frame the article and then tell my Grandchildren. Not that there's any danger of grandchildren in the near future to be honest. Woah mama...

Considering my previous post, I can certainly tell that, on the fanfiction side of things, I'm failing spectacularly. I don't even really care :D. Also, I was too lazy to get involved with NaNoRimMo, which is a shame as it sounds really quite cool! But there you are...I AM lazy and I love it!!

I think I'm going to go a play with my body friend now, as he's cool as.

"I wish I could write, I have these intense thoughts but I can't keep them still long enough to write them down..."

Stressful...Today can only be described as Stressful (note the 'S'). Double Pyschology, Double English and Art, Art club and Jazz Band Practise.
Got left on my own at lunch and had another table pick on me until Bryoni took pity on me and invited me onto hers. Here I spent an uncomfortable 5 minutes trying not to spill jacket potato, cheese and beans down my front before her unwelcoming friend, Becky. Eventually I gave up and took my blueberry muffin outside to enjoy.
It feels like I'm rotating in circles that I don't belong to, at the moment, with all of this change and shift in social balance, I can't work out how to react to, and interact with, other people. I've become a recluse again, it's now that I've begun to notice it a lot more...how tiring. I'm the type of person who struggles to socialise even though I'm afraid of being alone. I can't handle the pressure of small talk and take either a long while or a mass amount of encouragement to truly be able to react with another.
That's possibly why I treasure my friends so much; they're all social butterflies who surround me and bring out my better side. If it weren't for them then I'd most likely be the girl who sits in the library at the table on her own...well I am that girl most of the time anyway, but I still have people to assist me in opening up to the world around me.
I really struggle in lessons too, at the moment it's psychology that's the worst. I DID have a table to myself for the first lesson, but Mr. Emmet spoke to me at the end and encouraged me to sit on a table with two other girls for group work. They're both quite close, so when I attempt to pluck up the courage to chat with them, I know that really I'm just butting into their private conversation and that they interact with me just to be polite.
I'm so shy, but nobody can see that, they just see the ignorant, weird girl who can't seem to talk without punctuating her every sentence with a meaningless giggle.
Everyone seems to want to talk to someone else, and that's difficult...I'm trying so hard to come out of my shell because in order to succeed in life you need good social skills. But just as I begin to open my mouth, everyone shifts away.
In lessons, it also seems that everyone else is on a completely different wavelength to me...like over the summer, people spent their time in a library, submerged in books on how to become intelligent. They all took out the same book and studied it cover to cover.
I, however, spent my summer on the computor, fretting about homework and sleeping in longer than expected.
Now I come back and listen in lessons...the teacher asks a question and -low and behold!- I know the answer. Now, there are two ways that the situation can go; either the teacher picks another student and they give an answer that seems so obvious and far from my own answer that I feel embarrassed and glad I wasn't picked; or AM picked, give my answer which sounds great in my own head and the teacher takes it in, pulls a face, mutters something along the lines of 'yeah but also...' or 'that's good, not right but...anyone else?' and turns away.
When did I become so stupid that I can't even pick up on a simple answer to the easiest of questions?
It's embarrassing...
The only lesson that I feel good at is Textiles. I work so hard, in fact this blog was set up in the hopes of furthering my capabilities! I'm ahead of others, I'm trying to engage the teacher in my studies, I go out and do primary research, I submerge myself entirely. And in the end I get nothing in return. I'm not feeling the effects of reward, I'm feeling the effects of being useless and suprememly incapable.
I wish I could just gain some shred of acknowledgment from ANYONE! It would mean so much if someone were to just take a moment to say "hey, you're certainly putting in one hell of an effort! Well done you, it's showing in your work..."
I just want to give up and go to sleep, but I know that if I do then I'll miss out on something in important, I'll lose work time.
It's exhausting wanting and trying but being held at arms length from what you desire the most.
How am I to succeed in life if I can't even handle sixth form?!
I'm screwing up everything and I don't know it got out of hand so quickly.
I've always said that I love to see a shrink, just for novelties sake and to have some one to talk to. Someone who is duty bound to listen and focus on me. Now I figure I actually might NEED a psychiatrist (did I spell that right?). If I could have some kind of escape...that would be wonderful, but I don't have time for escape. THIS is my escape. And I shouldn't even really be doing it!
Eh, I got distracted...and thank god too! As if I could actually cram in anything more depressing?!?! XD Ok...promise that the next post will be more positive! :D
In fact I'll make sure of it, I'll be posting it up in another couple of minutes...XP

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